regards

yes. i'm still here.
i haven't blogged in a while, so i thought i'd check in, and let everyone know that everything's good here.

let's see....where to begin?
i guess the most important news today is that there is a new man in my life. shocked, aren't you!?
no details just yet, but i will say that:
a) he is older than me (yeah, i know....i'm not 'stella' anymore)
b) he is NOT married
c) he is gainfully employed (works outta atlanta)

everything just peachy, right? wrong.
he is a wonderful man. considerate, friendly, intelligent, great in the bedroom. but...
i know this sounds petty. we have been communicating for nearly 3 months now. since he lives out of state we have to depend on alot of e-mails and IM's.
no matter what takes place between us or how intimate we've become, he signs all of his e-mails and e-cards with "regards". ok, ok. i know that it's way too soon for "love", but how about something a little more endearing? "regards" sounds like i am a business acquaintance, not his lover. come to think of it...he hasn't even voluntarily said that he likes me yet. he won't even allow me to call him my "boyfriend" yet.
i think the red flags are frantically waving at me.

maybe i'm too sensitive. maybe i want too much.
maybe i should stop listening to Korn & alice in chains first thing in the morning...

on a similar note...i have noticed that ODCface has been stalking me on the website that i hang out on. he never used that site before, and now he is on there almost daily. hmmmm, maybe he tired of his wife and 5 other girlfriends all ready?
come to think of it, it's most likely his fault for my terrible insecurities. all of the lies that he told me, and like a fool, i believed. he gave me such a false sense of security.

security. yes. that's it. i need security. i need to trust someone again. i want to trust and believe. i want to know that i am 'the only one'. i need more than "regards".
hmmm, may be time to reassess.

btw, i can rant here, because "mr. regards" doesn't read my blog...

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moving on.....

boo is headed off to NYC again this weekend to catch a couple of broadway shows. i know that soon he will be moving there to go to school. i am torn with this. i will miss him terribly, but i know thats where his heart is. he got accepted to (actually put on a waiting list) FIT --> fashion institute in NYC. i guess it's pretty hard to be accepted there, so i am proud that he made it to that point.

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poo has lost her mind, and can't find it. two weeks ago, she found a 4 foot snake in her utility room. she now refuses to leave the house. we do get her to go to work, and our tuesday night dinners with the 'guys', but other than that, she's hermitted herself.

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my summer plans have been tossed around a bit. i have been moving things around so i can spend time with "mr. regards". however, i am going to key west the last week in june. i can't wait! i am trying to talk poo into going with me. maybe that will snap her out of her funk.

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my house is finally repaired from the hurricanes! today the final repair is being made. i had to replace my water softener/filtration system....for a mere $2200....YIKES!!!!! i nearly threw up when they told me the cost. btw, insurance gave me $300 to replace it....
and yes, hurricane season begins june 1st....UGH.....

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well, thats it for today.
i'm going to go stick my head in an oven now....

regards,
~Luv

song lyric of the day: "i take my face and bash it into a mirror, i won't have to see the pain"

clarification

ok all of you 'gold' people.
i hear you. geeeeesh. you guys are worse than a bunch of old ladies.
the horse is dead all ready, and you are *still* beating it.
and now, you've gone and put me under turk's scrutiny (and i am guessing more than one e-gold/omnipay employee).
you couldn't just let me rant on about stuff....no....
not that it matters to me, i couldn't care less.
nonetheless, i will try to clarify what details i can for you.

in reply to 'anonymous' (http://runningblind.blogspot.com/2005/04/random-thoughts.html)

i seem to "hint"??? HINT??? do you have a clear grasp of the english language???

yes, as an e-gold account holder (or any other system, for that matter) you should explore every detail possible. don't be a lemming. if anything looks suspicious...investigate. anything at all.

anyone who has ever dealt with (or even met) the illustrious founder knows his tendencies.


you can call it the rantings of a scorned lover, if you will. but, i implore you to heed my warnings.
is it not enough that *he* cheated on his wife with me, but also cheated on me with other mistresses?
if a man cannot be trusted in his personal life, how does that bode for his professional life?

suffice it to say, i do not and will not use e-gold. ever.

so there you have it, dear anonymous.

i've said more than enough right now....
if you have questions, you know where to find me.

~Luv

song lyric of the day: "when you were languishing in rooms I built to foul you in. and when the wind set down in funnel form, and pulled you in."

our 15 minutes?

we went to our friends birthday party this past friday, and had a great time!
we literally overtook the gaybar gaybar. even the drag queens joined in the fun. i have the pics posted all ready (http://photos.yahoo.com/lr772) if you wanna take a peek.
we are enjoying our 15 minutes of fame, as we finally got our picture in the local magazine, "Out On The Coast".

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this is a very short blog today. i have been up since 2:00 a.m., and i am not very talkative. i basically wanted to share my latest set of pics with everyone.

so....
maybe i'll blog later this week, when i am more awake.

later,
~luv

song lyric of the day: "i've been crawling on my belly. clearing out what could've been. i've been wallowing in my own chaotic and insecure delusions."