Friday, May 20, 2005

regards

yes. i'm still here.
i haven't blogged in a while, so i thought i'd check in, and let everyone know that everything's good here.

let's see....where to begin?
i guess the most important news today is that there is a new man in my life. shocked, aren't you!?
no details just yet, but i will say that:
a) he is older than me (yeah, i know....i'm not 'stella' anymore)
b) he is NOT married
c) he is gainfully employed (works outta atlanta)

everything just peachy, right? wrong.
he is a wonderful man. considerate, friendly, intelligent, great in the bedroom. but...
i know this sounds petty. we have been communicating for nearly 3 months now. since he lives out of state we have to depend on alot of e-mails and IM's.
no matter what takes place between us or how intimate we've become, he signs all of his e-mails and e-cards with "regards". ok, ok. i know that it's way too soon for "love", but how about something a little more endearing? "regards" sounds like i am a business acquaintance, not his lover. come to think of it...he hasn't even voluntarily said that he likes me yet. he won't even allow me to call him my "boyfriend" yet.
i think the red flags are frantically waving at me.

maybe i'm too sensitive. maybe i want too much.
maybe i should stop listening to Korn & alice in chains first thing in the morning...

on a similar note...i have noticed that ODCface has been stalking me on the website that i hang out on. he never used that site before, and now he is on there almost daily. hmmmm, maybe he tired of his wife and 5 other girlfriends all ready?
come to think of it, it's most likely his fault for my terrible insecurities. all of the lies that he told me, and like a fool, i believed. he gave me such a false sense of security.

security. yes. that's it. i need security. i need to trust someone again. i want to trust and believe. i want to know that i am 'the only one'. i need more than "regards".
hmmm, may be time to reassess.

btw, i can rant here, because "mr. regards" doesn't read my blog...

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moving on.....

boo is headed off to NYC again this weekend to catch a couple of broadway shows. i know that soon he will be moving there to go to school. i am torn with this. i will miss him terribly, but i know thats where his heart is. he got accepted to (actually put on a waiting list) FIT --> fashion institute in NYC. i guess it's pretty hard to be accepted there, so i am proud that he made it to that point.

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poo has lost her mind, and can't find it. two weeks ago, she found a 4 foot snake in her utility room. she now refuses to leave the house. we do get her to go to work, and our tuesday night dinners with the 'guys', but other than that, she's hermitted herself.

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my summer plans have been tossed around a bit. i have been moving things around so i can spend time with "mr. regards". however, i am going to key west the last week in june. i can't wait! i am trying to talk poo into going with me. maybe that will snap her out of her funk.

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my house is finally repaired from the hurricanes! today the final repair is being made. i had to replace my water softener/filtration system....for a mere $2200....YIKES!!!!! i nearly threw up when they told me the cost. btw, insurance gave me $300 to replace it....
and yes, hurricane season begins june 1st....UGH.....

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well, thats it for today.
i'm going to go stick my head in an oven now....

regards,
~Luv

song lyric of the day: "i take my face and bash it into a mirror, i won't have to see the pain"

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